States of Change is an ongoing work of serial fiction.
Thursday, February 13, 2025
States of Change Chapter 43: Gem (Idaho)
Sunday, February 9, 2025
Derring-Do
Thursday, February 6, 2025
Desire
“Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.”
― Edna St. Vincent Millay
Desire is at the heart of the human mind's ongoing wishes for the future.
Billions of years of evolution have conditioned animal minds to be seekers of a panoply of good outcomes. Our very existence has depended on acquiring good nutrients, shelter and rest, warmth and care, reproductive and social well being, and more. As humans, our neurology and psychology are complexly predisposed to rewarding us for finding the things we desire, and to punish us to a degree when they are wanting.
In a modern context where survival within society is very different than out in the wild, the emotions that align with those primal desires weave quite the tapestry. We of course can feel happy and sated when our desires are fulfilled or sad and angry when deprived of something we want. We can also feel excited when something we desire seems possible, arguably fueling us to pursue that desire.
In romance, desire can get even more complicated. If mutual desire manifests it can lead them to spending time together in joyful discovery and an exploration of future life building. In the best of worlds, a healthy, lasting connection can result that inspires both people to pursue their best selves. Yet desire without mindful considerations can fan itself into an inferno or burn out leaving, rather than provide ongoing warmth.
"That which enchants, can also deceive." - Plato
Romantic desire that manifests at different levels between two people presents its own challenges. Unrequited feelings can cause hurt and stir up guilt even among the best of friends. Still, if there is respect between them, compassionate, rational minds can intervene and forge a compromise to move forward. Sometimes it just takes some time to reestablish a friendship with comfortable boundaries. Other times kindred spirits simply need to fly free to permit each other to discover their best selves on separate paths.
(As an aside, I find it interesting that the desire themed adages "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "out of sight, out of mind" both share popularity in our culture. Which I guess goes to show managing ones desire has an unpredictable side. Depending on luck and circumstance, sometimes it is inflamed and sometimes it is chilled.)
At the end of the day, desire is part of being human, of manifesting the drive to pursue the things we want in life. With a pinch of luck and mindful derring-do, desire can help steer the human ship toward its goals, alongside the goals of the those we care for. Indeed, our desires can lift our spirits, and with compassion and reason engaged, help us soar high and navigate wondrous journeys.
Give the song I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick
a listen for a little musical desire connection
Monday, February 3, 2025
Destiny
"The essence of horror lies in the fact
that ancient ideas survive in modern minds."
-unknown
As someone who doesn't believe in the supernatural, the idea of destiny is quite fantastical to me. I find no good evidence for divine creators, extraterrestrial manipulators, or reality simulation programmers. Sure, at some level the Universe obeys natural laws making for a decent amount of predictability. Planetary orbits, engine cycles, physical health and more all have some time tested science behind them. But destiny feels to me like wishful thinking at best or a dead end reason to do nothing and let life take whatever path it will. I do believe our lives unfold, at least in part, from desire and derring-do (more on these in future articles).
Destiny notwithstanding, I do believe there is a major element of luck in the world. Luck is at work tirelessly affecting our pursuits and pretty much all the things that happen around us. At any given place and time the events for billions of years on end have come together to create the current situation, an entirety of situation no one can understand fully.
(This isn't to say ANYTHING can happen in reality; whether we like it or not the laws of nature have their limits. The human mind, on the other hand, has the ability to imagine extreme fantasies and horrors, paradises and apocalypses, daydreams and nightmares, all too often ignoring the questionable evidence and wishful thinking we permit ourselves.)
Now true luck isn't the passive, magical ability to conjure up a future scenario that someone wants for themselves. Instead real luck represents the myriad of elements in play at any given time and place. Generally these are things we have no control over. No matter how much research we do before taking an action or how intensely we feel the moment is right, we cannot entirely predict how other people will react, what random events in the moment might affect their thoughts and emotions, or even how we ourselves will react when things turn out differently from the way we wanted.
So destiny feels to me like a fever dream. No matter how hard we try, the outcome can be different than we expect. And we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves or others when our expectations aren't met. Instead, we should find the best aspects we can in the moment while allowing any disappointment and sadness to dissipate over time. Living in the imperfect moment has its hidden joys if we stay present. With patience we can be ready to seize the next lucky moment and expand on it when it arrives.
In the end, though, it still can be very hard. Acceptance that our expectations won't ever be completely filled can be centering. Destiny aside, maybe the white lie "it wasn't meant to be" can be helpful to the human mind in coping with reality. The idea that outcomes aren't entirely under our control can help our human minds offload the blame from ourselves by recognizing luck, timing and circumstance are in play.