Saturday, August 31, 2019

Taming the Sadness Within



Disclaimer: This article is not intended to be professional advice. If you are experiencing extreme sadness or other challenging emotions, please reach out to professional psychological or emotional support hotline services. Ever have a deep empty feeling inside dragging you down? You're not alone. I've been there myself many times. How do you even begin to describe the weight of emotional despair. Perhaps you lost someone close to you and are unable to cope. Maybe a relationship just went sour and loneliness and hopelessness are all that you can see. Or maybe something seemingly small has consumed you. Whatever the reasons, dreary sadness now devours every attempt for you to experience joyfulness, to have a satisfying connection, or to just return to a life of normalcy. In my experience, we all have our own natural biorhythms of lows and highs. Since each of us is a unique individual to a fair degree only we can truly assess the feelings at odds within. To that end, the foundational challenge is to have an understanding of ourselves. By knowing our personal cycles of emotion and past responses we've had, we can at least create an expectation of how we will respond to the latest mini-crisis. Then we can apply coping mechanisms that have worked in the past or try new paths to improve past results. For me, I grew up religious, and there used to be a comfort in having a higher power as a fall back support mechanism. This may still be something you can call upon, though I personally have rejected supernatural beliefs in my life. Regardless, you might find temporary solace in your faith, or perhaps like me just recognizing we all are part of a larger whole, a world with numerous communities can be empowering. Yes, some of these communities may at times be unsupportive and dark, yet some can provide light and hope, enabling us to find a place to start recovery from sadness. Being part of caring, joyful communities can be a boon in a moment of sadness. Reaching out to someone in your network of close friends might provide the listening ear you need. A family member you trust with your despair might share similar feelings, allowing you to commiserate. Maybe a colleague or acquaintance in one of your other circles can aid you in how to approach a setback in your life goals. The very act of sharing itself may provide a venting of the icky inner feelings inside and lead to relief. By sound-boarding not only the challenges, but potential solution paths one can actively begin healing and step back on a path toward satisfying, heartfelt accomplishment, even if in small steps. Sometimes, we may feel like there is no one close enough to talk to, or perhaps close friends and family members may be involved at the core of the stressful situation underway. In this case the neutrality of a professional psychologist or a support hotline may be the best action to pursue. Then again, sometimes you may just need some downtime alone, to recharge, and reassess. This is where knowing yourself comes in handy, knowing that a yoga class or outdoor hike is just what you need to replenish your verve. Maybe sensing that your favorite music playlist or adventure novel will give you the temporary escape you require. Or perhaps, cuddling with your pet in a quiet easy chair is what will help you get through the moment. The answer to coping will always be an individual solution involving one or several of the examples I've noted, and certainly others I have not.

Life is sprinkled with challenges, like raindrops that simply cannot be avoided. Sometimes confronting those raindrops head on will lead us to tiny rainbows of hope. Other times we will get wet and muddy along the way. Nevertheless, by invoking patience, a variety of community support mechanisms and our inner power, a positive path forward frequently can be found!

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Chocolate Truffles for the Human Spirit #3

This short story was published as part of Tellables' July 2019 Box of Chocolates stories centered on miracles, or as I spin it, questioning miracles. Box of Chocolates is an Alexa skill you can install to sample monthly short stories narrated by digital, story-telling chocolatiers . If you have an Alexa device, I recommend you give the Box of Chocolates skill a try.

And if you like the idea of writing delicious, super-short stories (100-400 words) by all means check out the Tellables website for story submission guidelines. 



One Stroke Wonder

My father was the son of a confectioner trained in Germany. Indeed, I was inspired to pursue my career in chocolate craft by my grandfather in spirit and my mother in practice. Still, it was my father who inspired me to be a joyful human being. He was a hands down sports nut and even though I was a bit more artsy fartsy we would watch occasional Eagles and Phillies games together. He would whoop and roar like no tomorrow at each touchdown and run scored for the home team. Yet it was when we played a round of golf that we really bonded as father and son.

The golf outing I remember most vividly was a Spring morning at a nine hole golf course called Woody's just outside Philadelphia. We were celebrating my dad's seventieth birthday with our typical one dollar per hole bet. My dad and I may have been just a couple of hackers, but we took very seriously that potential nine dollar windfall. I was up three dollars when the miracle shot occurred.

The miracle drive happened on hole number eight. It was a gorgeous two hundred yard hole blending nature and landscaping. A sparkling pond jutted halfway across the fairway and the tee itself was elevated, providing a fine view of the rolling hillside. It was on this hole my dad would hit a hole-in-one. Having lost sight of his drive in the sun, we combed through the rough and sand traps for his ball for what seemed like an hour. Pulling my head from a bush I heard my dad guffawing at having found his ball in the hole itself. I stood mouth gaping as he danced like a medicine man around a campfire exclaiming "hole-in-one" like a true believer. We would toast that "miracle hole-in-one" over post golf beers for years to come.

Today, once again, it's my dad's birthday and I stand at that very same hole, hole number eight. With stealth that I've possessed since youth I had snuck onto the course from the adjacent neighborhood, having lost my desire to actually play the game once Dad had passed. Still, for the past seven years it's been my personal ritual to come out at dawn to the miracle green at Woody's. With a grin and a chuckle, I drop a ball into the hole, and remember my father's joyous dancing. Odds are good that today someone else will have a miracle shot at hole number eight.

Thursday, August 1, 2019

Chocolate Truffles for the Human Spirit #4

This short story was published as part of Tellables' August 2019 Box of Chocolates stories centered on celebrating women. Box of Chocolates is an Alexa skill you can install to sample monthly short stories narrated by digital, story-telling chocolatiers . If you have an Alexa device, I recommend you give the Box of Chocolates skill a try.

And if you like the idea of writing delicious, super-short stories (100-400 words) by all means check out the Tellables website for story submission guidelines. 


Slainte' Sis!

I know many people choose role models that are famous like Sally Ride or Harriet Tubman, but my role model is my sister, Molly Jenkins. And she kicks ass!

Frankly, all women who find themselves on the single-mother route need to become real-life superheroes. In comparison, Wonder Woman had it easy being born into Amazonian wealth. Even with her weaponized wardrobe she wouldn't last a day working in a rural diner. Like many single-mothers my sister holds two jobs in addition to child-rearing, which is a career unto itself. Still, she somehow manages to keep up with payments on her small, fabricated home in a trailer park in Fort Myers.

To say she is a superhero in my book is an understatement, but after Hurricane Irma hit in 2017, she became a goddess in my mind.

Hurricane Irma hit Fort Myers on a Sunday morning a couple years back. Sis had her hurricane kit ready and prepared to wait it out with Aurora, her toddler daughter. She considered evacuating, cause everyone knows a trailer park is a bowling alley just waiting for the weather gods to throw their tantrums at.

Then the hurricane was downgraded late in the week.  So at worst Molly was expecting to lose electricity for a couple days. In the end she opted to wait it out mainly so she wouldn't miss her shift at the Waffle House Monday morning.

Alas, Irma strengthened to Category Four Sunday morning, and the trailer park began to flood. The winds whistled outside as Molly kept an eye on Aurora playing with K'nex inside their double-wide. A shattering crash startled them both and Molly rushed to the door.

Six inches of water slid past the front stoop as Molly gingerly stepped down to assess the situation. The flooding threatened to turn her redneck neighborhood into a flotilla of wannabe arks. A flotsam of recyclables swirled everywhere. Then she spotted her grill knocked over sideways beginning to float away. Molly shook her head then leaped onto her AC unit and managed to lasso the black beast with some clothes-line and secure it to her stoop railing. It was then she noticed the shattered fish tank hung up behind her AC unit. Looking down, she saw her neighbor's red-banded pit viper slither around her ankles.

Never mind that my sister is a superhero and animal lover; she is almost as afraid of snakes as much as I am. As the pit viper wound its way around her sandals, Molly could only stand frozen as wind driven rain whipped by. As the venomous creature climbed her leg in a spiral ascent, she realized it was clearly looking for safety as much as anyone else in this hurricane. Molly held her breath, heart paused at mid-beat, and simply unable to move. Then she heard Aurora behind at the open door call out, Mommy is everything okay?

The thought of her daughter's vulnerability sent a breath into her. Molly willed herself to lean sideways, pushing the trailer door shut to safeguard Aurora and causing her body to deliberately fall into the flowing maelstrom below.

In what seemed like slow motion she fell while reaching down to her thigh and grabbed the viper right behind its neck. Before it had a chance to hiss they both splashed headlong into the swirling, muddy rainwater. The chill shocked her system, but also cooled down the snake's temperature rendering it quite harmless.

Today, my kid sister and fully certified goddess, lives with her daughter in a modest home on the east coast of Florida where she runs her up-and-coming pet care service. In a serpentine helix the words "Nature is cruel, but we don't have to be" now spirals around her arm in wode-blue ink.  As for the pit viper, she donated it to the local nature center where it is cared for to this day. They named it Irma, of course.