Sunday, March 24, 2024

Rick and Morty Fanfic Episode 4: Ca-Farce-Is

I have a running Rick and Morty geocache series based in the Stuart, Florida area. This is the final entry in those cache listings. 

The original geocache listing for this story is Ca-Farce-Is

If you're a fan of the Rick and Morty you'll either appreciate or condemn my take on the series. 

If you're not a fan, the storyline might still offend you. So be it.

There is an embedded puzzle in each story, but you can ignore them unless you have a bent toward puzzle solving or geocaching. 

(apologies to the letterboxers of the world)

"Did we survive, Rick?"

"I'll bypass the obvious rant-laden comeback, Morty."

"We survived!"

"If I weren't assessing the situation, you'd be tempting my ire, Morty."

"We survived. We survived! We survived!"

"Universe assessment complete. No offense intended, but your nascent ignorance actually served as a solid calibration point in evaluating the simulation matrix that reformed around us. Thanks for that."

"Thanks? Thanks!? Let it be known to the Universe, my grandfather Rick, alleged curmudgeon, mad scientist, and supreme, anti-villain unchallenged, has expressed thankfulness to me. What joy!"

"Normally, I'd respond with a searing, multi-teared comeback, but given my assessment of Universe v42 that's not going to happen; apparently the reconstituted Universe simulation we're in is a Neartopian Nightmare."

"Wait Rick...dare I point out the oxymoronic quality of that universe label? How can the world be nearly perfect, yet nightmarish simultaneously?"

"Well, Morty, how would you describe a 21st century world where societal progress has unified global civilization into a single restorative democracy? On top of that, all religions in Universe v42 have disbanded and have embraced a Saganesque world view of scientific skepticism and spiritual naturalism. Further, minimalism, veganism and conservationism have not only stabilized all environmental cycles; they've also enabled the return of 95% of Earth biomes to native wilderness habitat. And remarkably under the guidance of enlightened AI constructs, humanity has been able to reduce its population to a sustainable 100 million while maintaining technological, artistic and explorational productivity concurrent with a happiness index of 99.7 that has lasted for decades."

"Not to be a schadenfreude party pooper, but where's the nightmare in that?"

"Well, dear Morty, simply put, the sapient denizens of the Universe v42 simulation are in harmony with this AI-tweaked Eden. They have experienced supportive families, communities, education and progressive, participatory governing for the whole of their lives."

"Okay. Soooo....still not seeing the nightmare."

"Dearest Morty, we are the square pegs in their round hole world. You see, the Universe v42 simulation will never allow us to express a single seditious slanderous iota of negativity. Sure, we'll have thriving, joyful lives here forward, in a sense, but our the very fabric of our minds will be in torment, ever frustrated from being able to act on the core essences of our beings. Additionally, because leaving this universe would itself be perceived as a negative action, we can never act on our innate desire to flee this Universe v42. To forge a metaphor, we are barbarians trapped within the gates of civilized Rome."

"I don't believe you, Rick."

"Go ahead give your best potty mouthed rant a try."


"Well put, Ovid."


"And that's it Morty. All our adventures of ingenious insanity and influential invective are once and for all, over."


(Somewhere, an omniscient Simulation programmer sits astride Universe v42 watching, while also noting a geocache in Universe v1.0 pays homage to the end of Rick and Morty's epic side quest. The cache sits at coordinates N 27° W 080° for those who can tolerate and discern pseudo-random and profane gibberish)

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