Rick and Morty Fanfic Episode 2: Point of DeSmarture

I have a running Rick and Morty geocache series based in the Stuart, Florida area. My next few upcoming posts are republications of those cache listings. 

The original geocache listing is Point of DeSmarture

If you're a fan of the Rick and Morty you'll either appreciate or condemn my take on the series. 

If you're not a fan, the storyline might still offend you. So be it.

There is an embedded puzzle in each story, but you can ignore them unless you have a bent toward puzzle solving or geocaching. 

(apologies to the letterboxers of the world)

Rick, what are we going to do?! You've marooned us in a Universe devoid of supernatural phenomena pretending to be science. 

Backhanded [urp] skeptic comment...snap! It's not so [head itch] bad Morty. We still [fart] have access to Interdimensional Cable.

How will unlimited iterations of streaming retina-candy help us, Rick? We are doomed to die on a planet where Fossil Fuel, Qanon and Canned Dead Animals reign supreme!

There there, Morty [fart]...calm down like you usually do by spanking [urp] the hamster...or you could try spouting worn out InterCable movie quotes that jump the orca [urp].

"Get your hands off me you damned, muddy ape!"

That's [fart] in the spirit [urp], Morty! Only an NRA [fart] president could have sprayed it [urp] better!

"Soylent olive is people!"

True, [urp] but according to the local [urp] wiki this world calls that snack a Slim [urp] Jim....beats the [urp] Meat Penises trademark, I guess!

"You take the red pill, you stay in ragnarok, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."

Now, now Morty...no [nose pick] need to bring Norse Virtual [ear woggle] Reality Vigilanteism into this.

"No. Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no sighing."

Very [fart] chill words, still Morty, I [urp] cannot defy physics like a run-of-the-shill, fictional, grumpy, dwarf [urp] alien.

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the elven. Or the one."

Probabilities and ethics mix [crotch scratch] like neutrinos and heavy water, or that's what warped [nose knuckle] pediatricians say, anyway.

"I can't do giraffes, Dave."

Not very PC even in regards to a PC, Morty! Millennial AI entities have a right to their private choices!

"To affinity and beyond!"

Wait, Morty [butt noogie], are you toying with the idea that if we relocate [crotch scratch] the ship to displaced coordinates N 27° 3. _ _ _ ' W 80° 7._ _ _'. a spontaneous [toenail chew] singularity might provide an exit strategy for this story?

"Live silent and prosper."

Ahhh, so alimentary, dear [urp] Morty! Your quotes have been cranium opening! Gotta hand it to my methane-powered subconscious though [nose knuckle] for managing such surreptitious encryption! In fact the final solution 'tis easy as ABC 123! Now pass me another Slim Jim and we'll get the roadkill on the [fart] show!